Breaking Hearts (B-Boy #2) Read online

  “So the fact that he spent all last Saturday night gyrating against your ass only to ignore you afterwards has nothing to do with this sudden interest in rebounding?”

  “It is not a rebound!” I argued.

  Anna motioned toward my tight dress and chunky ankle boots. “Um, sorry to say, but it kinda is.”

  I pursed my lips and spun back around. “I’ll have you know that David is actually a really great guy. Anybody would be lucky to score a date with him. I’m lucky he even still wants to go out with me.”

  “And that right there is your problem.” She crossed her arms tightly against her studded black jacket. “You really don’t think much of yourself, do you? Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all.”

  “Oh, shut up, Anna!”

  She held up her hands in mock surrender. “If you want to rebound, by all means do it! But I just have a bad feeling that you’re going to end up more hurt than you already are.”

  I yanked down my skirt a tad bit and frowned. “I’ll be fine.”

  “Just wanted to make sure you were doing this for the right reason.”

  “And what would the wrong reason be?” I didn’t have to ask. I knew exactly what it was because it was the very reason I agreed to go out on this date in the first place. I needed a distraction—a huge one. I needed to remind myself that there were other fish in the sea that weren’t named Jacob.

  Anna pushed herself from my desk and peered at my reflection. “For all the bad advice I have ever given you, just remember this one thing: don’t get hurt. Better yet, don’t hurt David.”

  I shifted my gaze and stared at my reflection. My voice came out quiet. “I know.”

  Chapter 25

  The dimness of the room caused my eyes to blur and made me somewhat dizzy. Ignoring the slight turn of the room, I kept a grin plastered on my face.

  David twirled his straw between his fingers and smiled. “I have to say that I am ecstatic we were able to go out tonight.”

  I pressed my lips together and examined him quietly. His normally messy hair was slicked back, allowing his baby blues to take center stage. He seemed so innocent and the complete opposite of a certain dark, emotional manipulator.

  He narrowed his eyes in amusement. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

  “Nothing,” I said quickly. I straightened my shoulders and relaxed. “Yeah. This is nice. Thanks for taking me out.”

  “Thanks for letting me take you out.” He threw me a wink and chuckled under his breath. “Maybe you should go out of town more often. Seems to have a favorable outcome for me.”

  I couldn’t help but laugh, allowing the last remnants of stiffness to leave my body.

  This wasn’t so bad. In fact, it was rather easy joking around with him, sharing stories, and even sharing a meal together. I was relaxed and surprisingly without my usual word vomit. The thing is, yeah, it felt easy, but it also didn’t feel how I always imagined my first date would. For some reason I couldn’t help but feel a slight disconnect. I couldn’t explain it, but there was something different between hanging out with him and hanging out with Jacob.

  Guilt rushed over me and I quickly pushed the b-boy out of my mind. I was here with David. There was a reason for that.

  I cleared my throat. “So, do you think you’ll keep taking pictures once this class ends?”

  He shrugged. “Not entirely sure.”

  I perked up. “Really? But you’re so good at it.”

  “It’s not really my thing. Like I said, I’ll find something I’m good at and then get bored with it.”

  “Like skating,” I offered.

  “Precisely.”

  “That’s interesting.” And a bit disappointing. What was the point of it all then? At least Jacob immerses himself in his hobby.

  Ugh, Jacob again. Really, Estelle?

  He took another sip of water. “What about you? Are you going to keep taking pictures?”

  “Um, well…”

  “Uh oh. That doesn’t sound good.”

  I laughed and shook my head. “No, I mean in the beginning I was a bit apprehensive about it all, but I have to say it’s a lot of fun.” I narrowed my eyes and thought about the All-Styles Battle. Not counting what happened at the club, I really did have a fun time. “It’s amazing what happens when you submerge yourself in your subject. It’s rather refreshing to be able to lose yourself like that.”

  David’s lips curled down in thought. “Wow. That must have been some competition you attended.”

  I quickly snapped out of my daze and smiled sheepishly. “Yeah. You have no idea.”

  ***

  David walked me back to my dorm room and paused in front of the door. Together we danced the waltz of awkwardness that I’d seen one too many times on TV. Our eyes darted around, looking anywhere but at each other.

  The chipping white paint of the door.

  The little baby spider lowering itself down on a silken thread of its web.

  My hall mates running toward their rooms in hysterics, throwing crumpled up pieces of paper at each other.

  “So…” my voice trailed off. For once in my life I wished Anna would overstep her boundaries and barge right in to save me. Of course life never panned out like that for me, why would it start now?

  After pausing a beat, David leaned forward, pressing his lips against mine. My eyes widened in surprise while my head just screamed, “Enjoy it!”

  It wasn’t my first kiss. My first kiss was when I was thirteen during a random game of spin the bottle. I had to kiss Harrison Clemsley, who wasn’t a total nerd, but he was far from being a popular guy. Needless to say, this kiss was far from the brace-faced, saliva dripping mess I had previously experienced.

  David’s kiss was soft, but firm at the same time, if that makes any sense. It was hesitant but confident. Ecstatic, but nervous.

  Though a few butterflies did find their way into my belly, I couldn’t help but feel slight disappointment. Where were the fireworks? The intense sensuality? Where was the excitement that I had always felt when I saw Jacob?

  Jacob…

  Once again Mr. Spinja infiltrated my mind. No matter what I did, I’d always be that stupid little high school girl with the obsessive crushes.

  I didn’t want to be her anymore.

  I shut my eyes tightly and threw my arms over David’s shoulders, pressing my lips harder against his. I stepped away and couldn’t help but smile when I noticed his cheeks reddening.

  “Wow,” he breathed.

  I looked down at my feet and nodded. “Yeah. Wow.”

  He rubbed the back of his neck nervously. “Is it safe to assume that there will be a second date?”

  Though I forced myself to feel thrilled, ecstatic, and giddy by the prospect, I couldn’t. There was no excitement there. Yet, who was I to judge how these things worked? Maybe all those sparks I kept reading about really took time.

  It didn’t take any time with Jacob.

  I shuddered and forced a smile. “Of course.”

  Chapter 26

  Two dates turned to three, and then to four, and then to five, and then—well, you get the idea.

  “What date number is this?” Anna asked one night as she cuddled with Lucas on her tiny bed. The two watched me in curiosity, making me feel like an animal in a zoo.

  “I don’t know,” I replied, shrugging my shoulders. “I don’t really keep count.”

  It was a blatant lie. I knew it was our seventh, but I didn’t want Anna to think I was crazier than she already did.

  “It’s more than three though, isn’t it?” Lucas whistled. “So is it safe to assume you had your cherry popped?”

  “Lucas!” Anna exclaimed, slapping him across the chest. A shrill giggle escaped her lips. “You know Estelle isn’t like that.”

  I rolled my eyes, feeling completely exasperated with Anna’s stupid assumptions. “Like what, exactly?”

  Her eyes widened in shock. “Nothing! I didn’t m
ean—”

  Luckily, Lucas interrupted us. “It’s a valid question. Most people do the deed after date three.”

  Anna tore her eyes away from me. “We didn’t.”

  He playfully nudged her shoulder. “You’re right. We did it the first night.”

  “Hey!”

  “Ew. Information I didn’t need to know.” I grimaced and shook my head. Though I didn’t feel a need to explain my sex life to my roomie and her obnoxious boyfriend, I was dying for some enlightenment on the subject. Against my better judgment I told them, “We’ve fooled around before, but honestly, I don’t know if we should take it any further.”

  “Fooled around? What does this fooling around entail?” Lucas snickered.

  I ignored him and continued. “The thing is…I don’t feel right doing it just for the sake of doing it.”

  Anna’s face broke out in understanding. “You really don’t like the guy, do you?”

  “I do!” I said quickly.

  “But?”

  “But…is it supposed to feel this way? Like I’m forcing something? I mean, you and Lucas seemed to hit it off from the get go.”

  “Are you kidding me?” Anna laughed.

  “What do you mean?” I asked blankly.

  “This dude had to fight his way into my heart. Seriously, he was annoying as shit.”

  “What else is new?” I snorted.

  Lucas reached over and chucked a pillow at my head. I ducked, causing the pillow to smash onto Anna’s cluttered desk.

  “Hey! Careful!” Anna shouted.

  I straightened myself and sighed. “Back to what I was saying. Just seems cheap to share something that special with someone for the sake of getting it done.”

  Anna laughed and threw her legs over the side of the bed. “Estelle, this isn’t some after school special. This is college. You don’t have to fall in love; you just have to have fun.”

  “I agree. It’s not all about love.” Lucas threw Anna a wink, but instead of getting mad, Anna merely nodded as if to say, see?

  “You two give the worst advice,” I scoffed. “You’re basically telling me to do what? Sow my oats?”

  Anna threw her head back and laughed. “You really need to get over your good girl act.”

  “Oh come off it, Anna. You’re basically telling me to partake in one-night stands, walk of shames, and—”

  “What’s wrong with that?” she asked, cutting me off.

  “Um, STDs?”

  Anna laughed. “You and David are exclusive, right?”

  I truthfully didn’t know, but assumed so. “Yeah, I guess so.”

  “Well, you’ll be surprised at what an impact great sex has on a relationship. Hell, you might be screaming, ‘I love you!’ from the top of your lungs once he makes you come.”

  I scrunched up my nose and spat out. “Again I say, ew.”

  “Estelle, grow up. Have some fun.” Her eyes narrowed suspiciously. “Unless you’re saving yourself for…”

  Her voice trailed off. We both knew who she meant and didn’t need to speak his name out loud.

  Lucas’ eyes bounced between the two of us. “What am I missing?”

  “Nothing,” I replied. I turned and grabbed my purse in a hurry. “Well, it’s been fun, kiddos, but I have to go.”

  Anna frowned. “He’s not picking you up tonight?”

  I shook my head. “Nah, he had a late class and wanted to know if I could swing by his dorm instead.”

  “His dorm?” Lucas laughed. “I bet I know why he wants you over there.”

  “Shut up, asshole,” I snapped.

  Lucas’ annoying cackle continued. “Just let us know if there’s a sock on the doorknob, m’kay?”

  I rolled my eyes and made a swift exit. Only two more weeks and I’d finally be free of Anna. She didn’t know it yet, but I was definitely putting in for a new roomie the following semester.

  ***

  The walk to David’s dormitory hall seemed excruciatingly long for some reason. It wasn’t due to the bad weather, though it was uncharacteristically windy and cold for southern California, nor was it due to the pre-final stress apparent by the lack of students slacking around campus. Something was going to change tonight and somehow I knew that something was going to be me.

  Finally making it up the steps to his third floor room, I paused in front of his door and took a deep breath. From the other side of the door I could make out the muffled sound of music, which sounded oddly familiar for some reason. I gazed at the tattered posters and the dry board which was littered with graffiti type lettering hanging on the outside of his door, prepping myself to knock.

  I couldn’t even bring myself to lift my hand.

  Why did David want me to meet him here? Maybe he did want to seal the deal.

  Stop it. Don’t let those fools get into your mind. I shook my head, feeling angry at myself. You’re in college Estelle now. Stop reverting back to that stupid school girl. Sucking in my breath, I reached out and finally knocked. There. That wasn’t so bad now, wasn’t it?

  A few seconds passed before I heard footsteps approach the door. I instinctively stepped back, waiting for it to swing open.

  “E?”

  I looked up and gasped. Jacob stood shirtless, gripping the doorknob. He leaned onto the door jamb, slowly blinking in surprise.

  “Jacob?” I gasped. “What are you doing here?”

  I tried to avert my eyes from his heavenly eight-pack and glanced up at the room number. David did say 305, right?

  “Are you here for David?” Jacob’s face was expressionless.

  “Er…yeah.” My eyes bugged out, threatening to fly straight out of my head.

  “Then you have the right room.” His tone sounded a bit off, but then again it could have just been my imagination. My thoughts were flying a mile a minute, the situation too hard to comprehend.

  My mouth formed an “O” shape, but I could not get a sound out.

  Jacob turned abruptly. “Well, come in. He’s in the bathroom, but should be out in a sec.”

  I silently followed him inside the tiny dorm room, taking note of the way his gray sweatpants sat on his hip, revealing the waistband of his red boxer briefs.

  You’re here for David!

  Feeling guilty, I looked around their room and noticed a few b-boy pictures on the wall. I felt a bit sad, noting that none of my photos were tacked to the wall, but quickly pushed the ridiculous notion aside. Why would he hang my photos? It wasn’t like we were even friends or anything…

  “Ellie!” David exited the bathroom and immediately walked over and placed a kiss on my lips. “Aren’t you a sight for sore eyes! Well, you always are.”

  From my periphery I saw Jacob scowl and turn away.

  “Ellie?” Jacob snorted. “You mean Estelle?”

  David frowned, eyeing us both in confusion. “You two know each other?”

  “Only slightly,” Jacob replied in a bland tone.

  Only slightly?

  I took a moment to compose myself. It wasn’t as if I ran through his head as often as he ran through mine. He may only have known me a bit, but as for me it felt as if I’d known him for years.

  Fighting back my impending nausea, I asked, “Seriously? Jacob never mentioned that I was photographing his b-boy practices?”

  “It’s not like we have heart-to-hearts, E,” Jacob chuckled, making me feel like an idiot. “We’re both pretty busy guys. Besides, if I did mention it, I probably called you ‘E.’”

  “It must have come up at least once in conversation. I mean, wasn’t the fact that both of you knew someone photographing b-boy events somewhat of a coincidence? Why didn’t it raise flags?”

  “Raise flags?” David repeated. He glanced at Jacob and shrugged. “Like he said, we don’t really talk like that. He does his own thing and I do mine.”

  “Yeah, Ellie.” There was something strange about the way Jacob was looking at me, but I decided not to read too much into it. Trying to d
ecipher Jacob’s motives had surely gotten me into trouble before. Jacob narrowed his eyes in scrutiny. “Where’ve you been? I haven’t seen you since…”

  “Since Mal?” I curled my lips into a harsh smile and narrowed my eyes back. “Project was done…that’s it.”

  “That’s it, huh?” His voice was cool and collected, but for some reason I felt as if I were missing something.

  David glanced at us curiously, but didn’t comment on our weird behavior. Instead, he tugged at my arm. “We should go or we’ll be late for the movie.”

  “My thoughts exactly,” I murmured. I quickly turned toward the door, desperate to be out of that stifling dorm room. I yanked the door open and stumbled back. “Oh!”

  “Hey, girl! It’s been awhile.” Gemma looked surprised to see me, not to mention a bit annoyed. She glanced back at Jacob and then again at David, narrowing her eyes slightly. “Um, what are you doing here?”

  Of course she’d ask me that. Then again, she was probably Jacob’s girlfriend by now and had the right to.

  My eyes clouded with despair. “We were just leaving. Bye.” I yanked at David’s arm, practically dragging him down the hall, only pausing when we reached the stairwell.

  “Whoa, you must really not want to miss that movie.”

  Relieved at his obliviousness, I faked a smile. “Yeah. You know what they say about Ryan Gosling.”

  Chapter 27

  Seeing Jacob after almost a month was…

  I didn’t really know.

  It was shocking, to say the least, and also a bit invigorating.

  Seeing him woke up feelings in me I hadn’t felt for a long time. The giddiness, the excitement, the feeling that it was only him and me…

  “Ellie. Ellie!”

  “Oh!” I blushed. “Sorry.”

  “You okay? You’ve been a little off all night.” David leaned back into the booth and stabbed a spoon into his banana split. Strawberry syrup coated the top of his vanilla scoops, dripping onto the side of his bowl like blood.

  It’s probably how my torn heart looks right now.