On the Outside (Caught Inside #3) Page 18

  “Oh!” I cleared my throat uncomfortably. “Uh…we work together…and um, I’m in town on business and I needed to meet with him to discuss some…some scripts!” I let out a small laugh.

  Really, and you call yourself an actress?

  I shook my head and pursed my lips. “Unfortunately, I lost my phone on the flight and I stupidly don’t know his phone number or address…I was hoping you could point me in the right direction?”

  “You mean that phone peeking out of your purse?” With a smirk she pointed to the bright pink phone case peeking out of the front pocket.

  “Err…” My face was burning hot.

  Smiling knowingly, she said, “He lives in the Rancho Mar part of town. The baby blue bungalow with the surfboards and bicycles in the backyard.

  Isn’t that every house in California?

  “Awesome. Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome.” Pushing a plastic card toward me, she added, “You are in room 111, right off the sand.”

  “Perfect.”

  “And Miss Harpsinger?”

  I gulped, feeling utterly exposed. “Yes?”

  “Good luck getting him, and I mean that sincerely.” She threw me a wink and motioned to the person behind me to step forward. I hung my head low, wanting to hide under a rock.

  Chapter 37

  “This is not working!” I stood up and kicked a mound of sand, jumping up and down like a tiny kid. Unable to sleep, I decided to take an early morning walk to the beach and tried my hand at sunrise meditation to center and calm myself. Unfortunately, I don’t think New Yorkers took to anything Zen too well. Feeling more riled up—ugh, Riley!—than I already did, I fell back onto my butt and decided to lie down on the cool sand. It seemed that passing out was the only way I’d reach enlightenment.

  “Hey, Betty! Anything wrong?” a ‘Surfer’ accented voice called out to me.

  I pried my eyes open and spotted an older gentleman, who looked as ripped as those Kung Fu grandmasters you see in movies, walking toward me. I frowned when he plopped down next to me and threw a weird smelling backpack beside my face.

  Though I didn’t really want to be impolite, there was no way I was up for any sort of company. “Um, I wanted to be alone?”

  “Oh. That’s nice.” He proceeded to open the ratty knitted knapsack and pull out some foiled lumps.

  I rolled my eyes. “Not to be rude, but I kind of meant alone like now.”

  The man pushed back his grey sprinkled hair that hung to his chin away from his face. “And I say you need company. The name’s Limbo.”

  “Limbo?” I looked at him in confusion. “Please tell me you’re my fairy godfather.”

  He burst out laughing and shoved a rancid smelling lump of aluminum in my face. “No. I come bearing fish tacos, not glass slippers. Eat this, you’ll feel better.”

  “It’s six o’clock in the morning. I don’t want a fish taco.” I grimaced, smacking my tongue as if to get rid of the non-existent fish taste in my mouth.

  “Trust me, it’ll be good…but it looks like you’re not a local, so it might take you some time to open up to the delicious palate that us Mistcoastians possess.”

  “Am I that obvious?”

  His bronze shoulders shrugged. “A bit. So tell me, Betty…what’s the ma-tah?”

  “You do know my name isn’t Betty, right?”

  “I also know that you didn’t give me your name.”

  Though I didn’t know this strange man bearing fish tacos from Tom, Dick, or Harry, I didn’t get that gut feeling to stay away, so I answered, “Harper.”

  His mouth curled up in surprise.

  I groaned, covering my face with my arms. “Don’t tell me you know who I am.”

  “Small town. I know everyone here. Besides, I’m practically everyone’s mentor—their advice giver.”

  That caught my attention. “You wouldn’t happen to have spoken to Xavier Greene, did you?”

  “Nah.” He unwrapped a foil clump and proceeded to bite into the beige wrap. My stomach heaved watching the sight. “He’s a bit of a stubborn one. Those types don’t usually care for outside advice.”

  “So I’ve heard.”

  “And he is also a do-it-yourself smartass. He doesn’t need my help. I have, however, spoken to his sister. I speak to her all the time.”

  “Really?” That was surprising.

  He nodded proudly. “Yup. All the time.”

  “She seems like a do-it-yourselfer herself. Are you sure we’re speaking about the same girl?”

  His dark eyes twinkled. “Sometimes the most headstrong people are also the most insecure. Trust me; she is as human as they come.”

  “Wow…”

  “So tell me. How can I help you?”

  I removed my arm from my face and shook my head, feeling the cold sand hit my cheeks. “I don’t even know you. Why do you think I’ll tell you my problems?”

  “If it’s about that Aaron jerk, I already know.”

  Okay, now he had my undivided attention.

  I sat straight up and gasped. “Did Kacy tell you?”

  “No…but Riley did.” He leaned forward, peering into my eyes. His own eyes darted back and forth as if he were trying to get a read on me. It felt like he was trying to interpret some unknown ‘eye’ language that I wasn’t fluent in. “Did you talk to her yet?”

  “No…what did you tell her, anyway?”

  “Ah, Betty, that’s confidential information.”

  “But you’re not a real counselor.” Okay, I admit it was a lame attempt at trying to find out gossip, but I needed to know what my old best friend said about me.

  He eyed the fish taco that I had carelessly thrown to the side and frowned disapprovingly. “Eat and I might consider telling you something—not everything—but something.”

  My stomach heaved. I cringed but knew I had no choice. Riley meant more to me than a stable stomach did. “Okay, fine.”

  Swallowing the sour spit in my mouth, I picked up the lump and slowly unwrapped the shiny silver metal. To be fair it didn’t smell as bad as I initially thought, but again it was six in the freaking morning! Who wanted to eat cilantro this early in the day?

  I held the package up to mouth, inspecting the pieces of cabbage and mango that began falling out of its soft shell. Taking a deep breath, I quickly bit into it before I could change my mind.

  “Mmm,” I mumbled with a full mouth. “Good.”

  It reminded me of mothers trying to coax their toddlers into eating broccoli by faking their enjoyment.

  Limbo waited for a bit, most likely making sure I didn’t spit the food out before speaking. Once I swallowed the first bite, he motioned for me to keep going before he started his story.

  “Riley came here after the whole debacle first happened. Everyone in Mistcoast goes to the beach to calm their mind. There’s something about the ocean, you know? It’s full of energy and also full of purification. People tend to loiter by the shore when they’re deep in thought.”

  I fought back a gag and swallowed again. “And what did she tell you?”

  “That she was hurt thinking that you could hurt her. After all she really cared about you. She knew you apologized and she received all your messages, but someone who disrespected her didn’t belong in her life. She’s had her share of those kind of people in the past and wanted her bright future with Blake to only be filled with positivity. She’s on the verge of a spiritual awakening, you know?” He sounded like a yogi master.

  I nodded my head. Riley had been more than happy.

  I bit my lip. “Does she know I didn’t mean to do it?”

  “Yeah, but again motive and reasoning is sometimes overshadowed by the fact that something happened. It’s why trust is hard to regain after it is lost.”

  “So she doesn’t trust me.” Great. How was I supposed to recover from that? Realizing that Xavier probably felt the same way, I felt my airways constrict.

  “I think she does…or at least
she will…but sometimes on a journey to Zen and positivity, you have to cut back those who invite negativity.”

  “Invite negativity? I never wanted these bad things to happen to me!” I snapped angrily.

  “You may not want them to and you may not like it, but you definitely invite it without knowing.”

  The sun had now fully risen behind us, and suddenly feeling a bit hot, I blotted at some sweat on my forehead. “I do not invite bad things to happen.”

  “Okay, think of it this way. What did you do when those scandals happened in your life?”

  “I sulked,” I admitted.

  “How?”

  I shrugged. “The normal. Shut myself away from the world and wallowed in misery.”

  “So you didn’t do anything constructive.”

  “I…” Oh shit. He was right.

  As if hearing my thoughts, he nodded. “Okay, after the thing with Aaron happened, what did you do?”

  “Tried to call Riley to apologize.”

  “And what happened afterwards?”

  I scratched my forehead in thought. “My manager called and sent me on auditions I knew I wouldn’t get.”

  “So you didn’t continue trying to get a hold of Riley?”

  “She ignored me!” I argued.

  “Okay, that’s fair, but back to those auditions. So you said you were sure you wouldn’t win any of those roles. Did you get any of them?”

  “Just Cali Break, the movie where I met Xavier.” Ha! Take that. Even with negative thinking I was able to score one.

  “What was different about that audition than the rest?”

  I let out a stale laugh. “Truthfully, I don’t even know…I don’t remember…I…” My mouth dropped open as the realization hit me. “It was a small audition with nice agents who didn’t shun me like the rest. They made me laugh and made me forget I was even auditioning.”

  “So the difference was that you smiled,” he said knowingly.

  “Yes…”

  “And when Kacy and you got into a fight—”

  I felt as if the wind got knocked out of me. “So she did tell you!”

  “Only what was necessary. She was asking my opinion whether I thought bailing you out was a good idea or not.”

  “What did you say?”

  He grinned. “No respectable person deserves a night in jail.”

  I threw my hands in the air. “But see, that’s where I fail. I’m not respectable. Maybe I did deserve to be in jail.”

  “Don’t you see? By Kacy coming to get you, she allowed the energy between you two to shift. She allowed some positive vibes to enter both your lives. It’s the reason you’re here right now, isn’t it? Are you still the same woman who wallowed in self-despair in her home?”

  I shook my head. “No. Of course not.”

  “And I can only guess something made you realize that Mistcoast was where you should be?”

  I didn’t respond. I was freaking out too much. Was this dude a psychic or something?

  He nodded his head knowingly. “Then that misunderstanding with Xavier will work itself out. He’s a bit bummed out, you know?”

  I couldn’t help but smile. “I thought you said he didn’t talk to you.”

  “And like I said, his sister does. In fact, you should be thanking her. She allowed a door to open—an opportunity—for you to be here right now.”

  “Yeah, she did…” I scrunched up my face in thought. “I’m definitely not that same woman from earlier. I’m out trying to fix things as opposed to sulking in negativity and allowing things to happen to me.”

  “Bingo.” Limbo nodded his head proudly. “Maybe you can be a Mistcoastian, after all.”

  “What do you mean? Is everyone in this town divine gurus or something?”

  “You get me, Betty,” he joked.

  I took another bite of my fish taco that truly wasn’t as bad as I expected. “The name’s Harper…dude.”

  “Yeah!” A loud shout garnered my attention. I squinted and spotted a surfer riding gracefully to shore. From beside me Limbo let out his own shouts of appreciation.

  I looked on with a certain level of appreciation for the sport that I never had before Cali Break. “Wow, he almost made it look easy.”

  Limbo shot me a kind smile. “Do you surf?”

  “Oh, no…no.” I shook my head and let out a soft laugh. “I tried to learn. That’s actually how Xavier and I met. He was teaching me how to surf.”

  “I know.”

  “Damn, Kacy tells you everything.”

  “It’s a small town, not much gossip,” he agreed.

  I took a deep breath and pulled my knees up to my chest. “I surfed horribly, you know. Actually, I take that back, I did decent. I could stand up, but only if Xavier pushed me into the wave.”

  “Ah.” His busy eyebrows rose in understanding.

  “Ah, what?”

  “Now I see why you pushed him away.”

  “I didn’t push him away.” My face relaxed and I said quietly, “At least I don’t think so? I just got so mad thinking that Kacy caused us to break up and…”

  “And for someone who invites negativity into her life you certainly invited dependability.”

  “Huh?”

  The corners of his eyes crinkled. “Like I said before, Xavier is a do-it-yourself kind of guy. Do you think he could have made it last with a woman who needed somebody?”

  “I didn’t need him. I didn’t need anybody.”

  He lifted an eyebrow. “Are you sure about that?”

  “I…” And just like that my worst nightmare came true. I realized I wasn’t the independent woman I always thought I was. Bennington, Aaron, even Robert—ew, not like that—I always depended on someone to get me to that next level.

  I depended on Bennington for stardom so much that it backfired on me. Then I got caught up with the fact that Aaron brought me good attention and that backfired on me. Then there was good ol’ Robert, who always cleaned up my mess. As much as I hated to admit it, Xavier was there as my safety net. He was the only reason I felt comfortable in California to begin with. I never gave myself the chance to learn anything here for myself.

  “Wow…” I breathed. “I do invite negativity in by not doing anything for myself, don’t I? I kind of just let everything happen for and to me.”

  Limbo nodded pensively. Taking a moment, he pointed toward the ocean. “That’s the very reason surfers love what they do. Out there you are alone; everything is all up to you. Out there you feel as if you belong.”

  “That sounds lonely. I’ve been an outsider for as long as I remember. I was the weird drama girl in school, the small town girl in New York, and ironically, the brazen New Yorker in laid back Cali. Maybe I rely on people so much because I don’t want to be an outsider anymore. I want to be loved.”

  He reached out and squeezed my shoulder. “How do you expect to be loved if you don’t love yourself first?”

  I let out a small breath. “Wow, are you sure you’re not a psychologist?”

  “To a point. The ocean was my med school.”

  I couldn’t help but chuckle. Realizing that I had eaten the whole fish taco, I crumpled the aluminum foil in my fist. “Limbo?”

  “What’s up, Betty?”

  “Though I agree that I need to love myself a bit more, there is something you were wrong about.”

  “And what’s that?”

  “I love Xavier. I’m sure of it, and I love him the best way I can, though yes, it might need work.”

  The wind snapped behind us, blowing our hair over our faces. Limbo pushed back his long strands and smiled. “Then go tell him.”

  Chapter 38

  Self-transformation doesn’t happen overnight and definitely not in one morning. Though I was bursting, ready to run to Xavier’s house and profess my love and apologies, I knew I had to prepare myself first.

  “Smoothie Bar.” I snorted quietly and eyed the brightly colored restaurant. Even from twenty feet
away it reeked of wheat grass, pineapples, and mangoes. “This place just screams healthy. Definitely not Starbucks.”

  I had no idea what I was doing there. Though Kacy and I made amends, so to speak, it wasn’t as if we were buddy-buddy all of a sudden. Still, at the moment she was my bridge to Xavier and if I really wanted to be the strong woman I thought I was, I needed to at least know what I was in for. And who knew, maybe Kacy and I would become friends after all. Maybe even best friends. Speaking of which…

  I let my head fall back and gazed upon the ostentatious fake wave that protruded out of the ceiling next door. “Double Overhead. I’ve heard a lot about you.”

  “Only good things, I hope.”

  I yelped, not expecting anybody to be behind me.

  A deep chuckle sounded. “Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you. If anything I’m a bit scared you’re here. Are you gonna beat me up or something?”

  I spun on my heel and saw Hercules. Okay, maybe not Hercules, but someone close. Blond hair, periwinkle eyes—it was Blake! I’d only ever seen him on social media and a few text messages Riley used to send me of him, but those pictures did not do him justice.

  “Blake! What are you doing here?” As soon as the words left my mouth I felt really stupid.

  He held out some keys and jingled them. “My store, remember?”

  I couldn’t help but gape when he walked past me to open the metal gate and felt almost star struck actually meeting the man who had stolen my best friend’s heart. Once he pushed the metal gate over his head, he looked over his shoulder. “Come on.”

  “You mean go in?”

  “No, I meant stand out here and stare at a line of closed stores so you can be arrested for loitering. You don’t want to get arrested, do you?”

  “Definitely not again,” I muttered.

  “What was that?”

  “Coming!”

  I trailed behind him, waiting until he flicked on all the lights to step inside. Leashes, boards, surf wax—this place had it all. I took my time taking in everything around me. No wonder it was as popular as I heard. It was a surfer’s oasis!

  I lifted my gaze and spotted the infamous turquois curtain separating Riley’s store from Blake’s. How I wanted to run straight through it and lock myself inside, never leaving until Riley spoke to me again.