Two Outta Three (Two Outta Three #1) Page 17

  “Do you know what I want to do right now?” His voice was hoarse, as if he had spent the last few hours screaming at the top of his lungs as opposed to speaking quietly with me.

  I shivered. “Maybe the same thing I want to do.”

  I was both proud and appalled at my ability to speak that thought out loud.

  Jesse nodded his head and trembled slightly. His eyelids lowered, acting as a hood over his eyes, which seemed a bit redder than usual. “I think I want to prove something.”

  “Huh?” I blinked in surprise. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  When I was met by silence, I decided there was a far deeper meaning to his words than he was letting on. So, as had become customary since his father left him the year before, the urge to protect him once again surfaced.

  “You know you don’t have to tell me. If you don’t feel comfortable, you don’t have to share anything you don’t want to. You never have to with me.”

  The corner of his mouth lifted into a soft smile. “So all I have to say is something along the lines of ‘I’m not comfortable telling you’ and it’s my free pass to keep secrets?”

  I hated to think Jesse would keep anything from me. I was his best friend after all, but a best friend knew that sometimes secrets were necessary for self-preservation. “Yeah.”

  He pulled his head away and looked from left to right. The mischievous look that had become so familiar to me once against flashed across his face. “Do you trust me?”

  “Uh, yeah. What kind of a dumb question is that?”

  He nodded in satisfaction. “Good. Wait here for me, okay?”

  “What? Where are you going?” I stood up, letting the skirt of my dress fall in ruffles at my legs.

  Jesse automatically reached up and yanked me back down. “Please. I’m going to do something really quick, but I need you to stay.”

  “Do what?”

  Neon warning signs flashed through my mind. He was definitely up to something and I needed to follow him to make sure he was okay.

  “I may not feel comfortable telling you, but I’ll show you.”

  “Jesse—”

  He stood up, pulling the jacket tighter around my shoulders. “Stay right there. I’ll be back soon.”

  ***

  Jesse led me down the short hallway to his bedroom, slowly flipping on the light. I squeezed in beside him, leaning against the narrow doorframe.

  “Nice room,” I commented, taking in his Cali-King sized bed complete with a matching flannel set. “Didn’t take you for a plaid kind of guy.”

  “It was on sale.”

  He rushed forward, walking towards an oak dresser that seemed oddly familiar. I watched him dig inside, trying to figure out why I was experiencing a strange sense of déjà vu. That’s when it hit me. It was decorated similarly to his house back in North Carolina. From the plaid to the wooden accents and even to the shaggy carpet, this apartment was basically a scale model of his old room back home. I couldn’t help but smile. No matter how much he tried to deny it, he really did miss Bethel Falls, even if only subconsciously.

  Opening up another drawer, he pushed aside random shirts and pants. “Since sleeping in jeans is quite horrible—”

  “How would you know?” I couldn’t help but laugh.

  “Junior year, graffiti incident, remember?” He winked.

  “Ah, yes. You ran from the cops, hopped a few fences, and ended up falling asleep in the woods. How could I forget?”

  “What can I say? I have a checkered past.”

  You don’t say.

  Pulling out two articles of clothing, he shut the drawer and strode back to me. Stopping a few inches away, he held out some pajama bottoms and an old t-shirt. “Will these do for pajamas?”

  I nodded and gratefully and took the clothing, which were a few sizes too big. It was apparent that Jesse liked sleeping in baggy clothes, which says a lot about the pair of pants I was holding. I’d have to wrap the drawstring twice around my waist to even get them to stay on me.

  As he released the shirt, he pulled back, as if afraid to touch my skin. “I have an extra toothbrush in the medicine cabinet. Feel free to use whatever else you need.”

  “Thanks.”

  Without another word, he grabbed some clothes from the top of a nearby laundry basket and marched out of the room, carefully closing the door behind him.

  Frowning, I looked after him and muttered, “Good night, I guess.”

  I took my time in the bathroom, running the day’s events in my mind. I would never have imagined ending up in Charleston in Jesse’s apartment, of all places, as a result of one visit to his mom. Prying open the medicine cabinet, I grabbed the extra toothbrush and quickly shut the glass. It was hard not feeling like a creeper in his bathroom, and though I probably would get to know him a bit better by finding any medication or ointments, I decided against it.

  You might find condoms too.

  Rolling my eyes at my ridiculousness, I resigned to brushing my teeth and getting ready for bed. When the time came to pull on his clothes, I paused. It seemed almost intimate to do so. Sure, I’d worn his jackets before, but this just seemed a little too close for comfort. I gripped his shirt, contemplating on whether or not I should just wear my own clothes. After another yawn escaped me, I knew there was no way I’d get any sleep in jeans, and before I could change my mind, I slipped on the clothing faster than I ever had in my life.

  I inched my way towards his bed and paused right before climbing in. In all my years of fantasizing about ending up in his bed, this was definitely not what I had expected. One slow leg at a time, I finally found myself in the middle of his gigantic mattress. It was comfortable, no doubt about that, and it sagged just a bit in the center. In fact, I could almost make out the imprint of his body against the fluffy mattress. I scooted over right on top of it and pulled the comforter up to my neck, inhaling his familiar scent, imagining that I was wrapped in his arms as opposed to lying alone in a strange room on a monstrosity of a bed.

  The apartment was silent; the only sounds were coming from my breathing. For a moment I worried that Jesse had walked out and left me alone for the night, but that fear was swept away once I heard him cough in the living room. Though I was still exhausted, I found the silence a bit too hard to bear and was unable to fall asleep. I tossed and turned, counted sheep, and changed my position about ten times. Somehow amidst the trouble, I must have drifted off because the next thing I knew was waking up, scorching hot and breathless.

  “Oh!” I gasped, bolting straight up. My eyes flew open, darting around, trying to remember where I was. A bead of sweat slid down the base of my neck, rolling until it rested on the collar of Jesse’s old shirt. My breaths were heavy and my heart ran rampant. I rubbed at my forehead and slicked back my damp hair. If I hadn’t recalled my dream, I would have thought I was getting sick and chalked it up to karmic punishment for lying about being ill.

  My throat was parched and sandy. I knew I had no choice but to brave Jesse’s apartment and risk waking him up for a glass of water. Sure, I could have opted for some tap from the bathroom, but after watching a news special about the germs that infested the water it was only purified water for me.

  I threw one leg over the edge of the bed and then the other, hopping down from the high mattress. When my feet landed on the shaggy carpet, I slowly scuffled around until I found my way to the bedroom door. I was too afraid to turn on the light, worried that I’d somehow wake up Jesse. After the very vivid and detailed dream I had I could surely go another day without having to see him face to face.

  “Aha!” Finally feeling the door knob, I opened the door as slowly and as quietly as I could. It ended up I didn’t need to be so gentle because soon the sounds of the television greeted me hello.

  “Couldn’t sleep?”

  “Ahh!” I yelped and jumped back, not expecting to hear Jesse’s voice.

  The sound of his grunt echoed through the tiny apartment, quickly follo
wed by, “You can join me in ordering this amazing juicer if you want.”

  “What?” I squinted my eyes, glancing over at the television set. My eyes were still adjusting to the light and I winced, feeling the sharp sting in its muscles.

  “If you call now you can get two free recipe books,” he muttered.

  “Oh.” Even saying one word caused my throat to cry out in pain. I had never felt this dehydrated from sleep before; then again I had never had such a work out either. “Um, I just want a glass of water.”

  My eyes fully adjusted, I could make out the silhouette of the back of his head peeking from the top of the couch. The television’s glow added a halo type effect around him, making him look like the angel I wished he was. He lifted his arm and waved it towards the kitchen. “Help yourself, the glasses are in the right cabinet.”

  I nodded despite the fact that he didn’t look back at me and headed towards the kitchen. As I marched toward the refrigerator, I was vaguely aware that he had finally turned his head and was watching my every move.

  “You know my clothes look better on you than they do on me. Maybe I should let you keep it.”

  Recalling our old banter, I chuckled as I poured myself a glass of water. “Nah, who’d want these old things?”

  He threw his head back and laughed, all at once alleviating any weirdness in the air. Though I was still harboring a good amount of awkwardness, I reminded myself it was only a dream and even grew brave enough to take a seat beside him on the couch. Granted, I was all the way on the other end, but still, it was the thought that counted.

  We sat in silence for a while, watching some over enthused audience members sip their juices as if they were goblets of ambrosia. Once a commercial break hit, which was odd given the whole program was a commercial, Jesse turned to me.

  “Did you have a bad dream?”

  “What?” I asked with alarm.

  “I heard you in there. You were breathing hard and moaned a bit.”

  I instantly blushed. “I did not moan!”

  He turned the corners of his lips down and nodded. “Actually, you did. I heard you.”

  I was mortified. Jesse heard me having a sex dream about him. I didn’t even know girls could have wet dreams, but effing shit, did I prove that theory wrong. The fact that I was wearing his clothes and sleeping in his bed must have messed with my mind. I tried hard to push away the fuzzy images of Jesse’s shirtless body and intense touches by quickly changing the subject. “You’re quite the night owl. Have you been up this whole time?”

  “Yes, I heard everything,” he said knowingly.

  Fuck! There went any chance at changing the subject.

  “Like what?” I gulped.

  Instead of answering me, he turned his head in my direction while keeping his body facing the T.V. One long arm reached across the top of the couch pointing towards me while the other gripped at a huge throw pillow draped across his lap.

  “What did you hear?” I shifted in my seat, trying hard to look away from him. Too bad, I couldn’t. It was as if his eyes were a magnet to mine.

  “Did you know I stopped by your house two nights ago?”

  “Wait, what?” My brain was still muddled up from my dream; I had no idea what we were talking about anymore.

  He bowed his head slightly causing his messy hair to flop forward. “I felt bad about what went down at the store. I knew it was a dick move and I should have apologized, but again I hated how much I felt like the old Jesse, you know?”

  I kept my face straight. “When did you come over?”

  “When do you think?” He chuckled. “I rolled up to your house and saw a strange car in your driveway. I knew you parents were gone and it couldn’t have been Emily’s. It didn’t take me long to figure out it was Ethan’s prissy ride.”

  I bit the inside of my cheek and flinched. “Uh, yeah he wanted to cook for me.”

  “Cook for you, huh?”

  I nodded.

  Jesse inched towards me causing the couch to creak underneath him. “You know what ‘cooking for you’ is code for, right?”

  I shook my head, completely rendered mute. My heart leaped as I watched him move towards me. An inch there, a centimeter here. Each time he moved, I felt the couch bounce slightly.

  “I stayed in my car, wondering if I should go in and bother you. Hell, I sure wanted to.”

  I swallowed. “Why?”

  Come on, Jesse. Say it out loud so I know it’s the truth.

  “You know why,” he said pointedly.

  “Do I?”

  At this point he was so close to me I could feel his body heat permeate through my clothing. The stupid threadbare t-shirt he gave me did nothing to protect me from his warmth. He reached out and ran his thumb down the side of my face and said, “I saw Ethan walk out with extremely, extremely messy hair. His little poof was no longer a poof.”

  I gulped as his fingertips traveled down to my chin.

  “I was angry, but why? I had no right to be angry. We weren’t even good friends anymore.”

  My heart was thrashing, crying out for sedation.

  His fingers trailed to my collarbone, lightly resting on top of the shirt. “Did he touch you like this? Did he lean into you like this?” Jesse brought his face forward so that his lips lightly grazed my ear. “And whisper sweet nothings in your ear?”

  Holy shit! If it weren’t for my nerves I’d probably need a change of underwear by now.

  Jesse lifted his fingertips off my clavicle, one by one with unbearable slowness. The innocent act alone caused me to squirm and I had to try my best to suppress the little whimper which was growing inside my throat.

  To my disappointment, he pulled away. This was short-lived however, because soon he reached out and ran a fingertip down the length of my arm. In a gruff tone he asked, “Did he touch you like this? Gentle, the way you deserve to be treated?”

  “I’m not glass.” My voice cracked.

  “No,” he agreed. “Just someone special.”

  The lump in my throat was forming quickly. I swallowed it back and shook my head, pulling back my arm. “Why are you doing this? Why are you asking these questions? This isn’t right.”

  “What do you mean?” His chest rose and fell quickly. His eyes were narrow slits bordered by his light colored eyelashes, so I couldn’t read the expression behind them.

  “I can’t keep up with your moods, Jesse. First you’re cold, then you’re aloof, and now you’re—”

  “Hot?”

  I closed my eyes and took deep breaths, trying to calm myself. “Please make up your mind about me.”

  “I already told you how I felt,” he argued.

  “When?” I demanded.

  “At my restaurant? The photo?”

  Say it out loud, Jesse. Spell it out for me. I need to hear you say it.

  “That didn’t mean anything to me,” I lied.

  Jesse’s eyes lit up as if he just accepted a challenge. He moved forward, knocking off the throw pillow from his lap and revealing a pretty prominent looking tent. “I heard you talking in your sleep. I’d like to say that it did mean something to you. You said my name and how much you cared about me—”

  “I always thought that when this happened you wouldn’t be talking about another guy first!” I blurted out before I could stop myself. When I realized what I had done, I pulled back and leaned into the arm of the couch. I averted my gaze, feeling the heat rise up my face.

  I heard him take a sharp breath. “When what happened?”

  I didn’t respond and continued staring at the TV, busying myself by memorizing the 800 number that kept flashing on the screen.

  After another short breath, I felt Jesse’s hand on me again. This time he reached out and cupped my chin, turning it towards him. His voice was octaves deeper, cracking with each staggered breath he took. “You don’t want to talk about another guy, huh? Fine, let’s talk about me then, because I know exactly what I would do to you.”

>   I was trembling, full of budding anticipation.

  He released my chin and pressed his thumb against my mouth, rubbing the length of my bottom lip. “I’d take my time to explore each curve, each crevice of your body. I know you’re not fragile by any means, but I’d treat you like any treasure should be handled.”

  “H-how’s that?” I stammered.

  He grinned. “With awe and all the care in the world.”

  His hand traveled up to my hairline, brushing my waves back so they fell softly across my shoulder. I was rendered catatonic, so entranced with each word he spoke and each touch he gave. I was afraid that if I moved, I’d wake up to find out this was another dream.

  The tips of his fingernails grazed my cheek lightly, eliciting a pleasurable sensation that caused goose bumps to travel up and down my arm. “I’d map out your body, taking in your favorite spots and bookmarking them for future reference.”

  “Bookmarking.” I couldn’t help but giggle a bit.

  He grinned. “Okay, bad choice of words.”

  He shifted forward a bit more so our noses almost touched in an Eskimo kiss. He never took his eyes off mine, his gaze burning into the depths of my soul. It was all so intense that I felt I needed to look away, but he kept his hold on my chin so there was no possible way to move. It was unbelievably pleasurable torture.

  “Then you know how I’d kiss you?” he asked with a voice that rumbled in his throat.

  “No,” I whispered so low that it was barely audible.

  “Like this.”

  Still cupping my chin, he brought his face forward, pressing his lips against mine. My eyes widened in shock, but quickly closed, savoring the moment for which I had longed for nearly a decade.

  Please don’t be a dream. Please don’t be a dream.

  His lips were softer than I remembered; then again NYE was a blur. His lips pressed firmly against my own as if he too had been wanting the same thing for as long as I have. But that couldn’t be right, could it? Especially after everything we’ve been through.

  Releasing my chin, he brought his hand to the back of my neck, caressing the skin at the base. The sensation caused me to lurch forward, sealing our kiss even more. He opened his mouth slightly, letting a groan escape. I quickly followed suit, whimpering slightly. Jesse took advantage of my open mouth and plunged his tongue forward, massaging the top of mine. Like he promised, he wasn’t too rough. He didn’t push. He treated me how I’d imagine a princess to be treated.