Breaking Hearts (B-boy #3) Page 13

  “Why yes, thank you, Claudia. I’d love to stay for dinner.” Asher shot me a wink.

  Having no choice but to go along with it, I bared my teeth. “Great.”

  ***

  “So I told Mallory that she needed to march right up to Damien, flip him off, and tell him that she deserved that solo more than that bitch, Sarah.”

  I felt Asher’s gaze on me. “Yeah, I’ve met that Sarah chick. She did seem like a peach.”

  “Yeah, a rotting peach!” Claudia smacked her tongue in disgust. “Mallory works her ass off day in and day out and for what? To lose to someone who probably flashed her vag to Professor Dumbass? Girl must have some glittering labia or something.”

  Asher broke out laughing while I stewed silently beside him. He elbowed me in the ribs and grinned. “That’s what I can’t figure out about you.”

  “If I have glittering labia?” I muttered.

  He snorted. “How you can be all blunt and abrasive to me?”

  “Hey!”

  “But when it comes to someone you really need to step up to, you shy away from it. Why is that?”

  “I don’t know,” I said with a grunt.

  “Mallory, why don’t you stand up to Damien?” Claudia asked with concern. “Did he ever do something to make you scared of him?”

  “Not scared of him, but more so wary.”

  Asher’s jaw clenched. “What did he do?”

  “Nothing,” I answered quickly and shrugged. “He just made it perfectly clear that he can’t stand being argued with. He views any debates against his cause as a mutiny and I don’t want to ruin my shot at piano, okay? I need good recommendations if I want to go anywhere in this career and I really don’t want to burn bridges.”

  “But it’s okay to burn bridges with me, right?” Asher murmured as he stared at his greasy mess of a pizza, which was practically oozing with oil.

  “Um, come again?”

  “Nothing. I didn’t say anything,” he replied with a strained smile.

  I blinked in confusion and shook my head. “I don’t think my mouth is going to get me anywhere with Damien.”

  “It did for Sarah.” Claudia laughed, wagging her eyebrows suggestively.

  I rolled my eyes. “All hearsay and speculation…that I may have started. Either way, I think my music should speak for itself and that’s why I’m trying hard to finish this piece. I’m hoping to present it to Damien to see if he’ll add a spot into the production for me.”

  “I guess that’s better than nothing,” Claudia said with a sigh, obviously irked that I don’t just go and bitch slap the hell out of my professor.

  “And what if he doesn’t go for it?” Asher asked, nearly giving me whiplash.

  “Why wouldn’t he?” I ground out. “I’ve been working my butt off, or at least trying to when I’m not running my anti-jinx business with you.”

  “That’s exactly what I mean.”

  “You’re speaking in circles,” I said with a grunt.

  He exhaled loudly. “Look at me. I’m trying so hard and work my butt off, but something is holding me back from succeeding. Initially I thought it was a jinx.”

  “We know,” Claudia and I said in unison, bursting into giggles when we caught each other’s eyes.

  At least Asher was humorous enough to take a joke. Smiling, he explained, “But perhaps it’s not supernatural.”

  “Hallelujah! It’s a miracle! You finally have returned to earth,” I exclaimed, raising my arms in the air as Claudia snickered beside me.

  He cleared his throat and tapped against his soggy paper plate. “I’m being serious here.”

  I made a show of pantomiming my lips shut.

  He snorted and rolled his eyes. “What I’m saying is that maybe what’s affecting me is the same thing that’s bothering you.”

  “And Dr. Asher, what do you think is bothering me?”

  His shoulders bounced slightly. “Maybe there’s something mental or even psychological holding you back from accomplishing your goals. Maybe it’s a fear. Every time I remotely try to get you to talk about your music, you shut down. How do you expect to fully capture Damien’s support if you clam up? Even when you were composing back there, I’d always see your eyes shifting over to me, checking to see if I was watching you.”

  I scratched my head in confusion. “I did that? I don’t remember.”

  “Yup. And you really need to stop it.”

  I sighed and slumped forward, once again losing my appetite. “You both already know that I hate to perform in front of people. Especially a piece that isn’t fully ready yet…it has to be perfect.”

  “But it goes hand in hand with piano, Mallory. If you want people to hear your music, you have to be prepared to be watched.”

  Claudia snorted at the innuendo, but we both chose to ignore her.

  “Next time you’re up there, think of the music as a shield. If you’re too busy fidgeting, the audience will focus on you, but if you imagine yourself enveloped in the music, you’d realize they’re looking at you without really looking at you. Does that make sense?”

  Oddly enough, it did. “How about you?”

  “What about me?” he asked, looking a bit offended.

  I couldn’t help but snort. “Do you ever get scared performing?”

  “Nah, I love it,” he admitted.

  “No offense, but you just totally rebutted your own argument.”

  One of his thick eyebrows arched. “How do you figure?”

  “Someone who loves the limelight can never imagine what it feels like for people who hate it. It’s like asking an introvert to party hop or asking an extrovert to lock himself inside for a weekend. Two different sets of personalities can’t possible empathize with the other.”

  He tilted his head to the side, jutting out his bottom lip. “I guess I see your point, however I never wanted any of that attention either. I still don’t.”

  “Okay,” I muttered sarcastically.

  “I wanted my dance moves to be the center of everything. You see, when I’m up there, I feel separated from my body. It’s literally like an out-of-body experience. My moves are my moves. I’m just a vessel to deliver them…” His voice trailed off and his eyes widened. “And that’s why I’ve been messing up! I’ve been so focused on me that I’d completely forgotten how to let the moves flow freely.”

  “Oh, my gosh!” Claudia gasped, tapping her feet excitedly.

  I frowned. “What is it? Did you suddenly become an expert on breakdancing?”

  She scowled. “No! But do you remember what Ellie told us at dinner the other night?”

  It took me almost a minute to remember who she was talking about. “Vaguely.”

  “She said that certain energies can rub off on other people. Maybe your fear of performance rubbed off on Asher.”

  I stared at her blankly. “Don’t tell me you’re buying into this paranormal stuff too?”

  “Don’t you see? It totally makes sense!” Claudia jumped to her feet and began pacing the length of the tiny living room.

  Asher’s eyebrows pulled together. “What are you guys talking about?”

  “This girl, Ellie, is like this scientific warlock,” Claudia’s gravelly voice rattled on. “She said that sometimes people can project their fears onto someone else. I think that Mallory’s fear of performing is somehow getting to you.”

  “And we transferred this by bumping uglies?” The word vomit slipped from my mouth before I could stop it. Asher cleared his throat, reddening.

  “Aw, he’s blushing. How cute,” Claudia cooed, throwing Asher a wink.

  “Anyway,” I snapped, desperate to change the subject. “I don’t know how Asher could be affected by my performance anxiety.”

  “Oh, baby, I definitely didn’t have any performance anxiety that night, right?” Asher’s embarrassment obviously faded. I guess if you can’t beat ’em, join ’em.

  I narrowed my eyes. “All this scientific crap is just as bad
as the other end of the spectrum…not that this is even scientific to begin with!”

  “The night you hooked up you were looking for a distraction, a release from a crappy day, right, Mallory?” Claudia asked. I bit my lip and nodded, to her satisfaction. “And now you spend practically all your free time together, because seriously, I never see you anymore, which is really messed up because I see Jinny more and she’s engaged and—”

  “Can we get back on track?” I groaned. Though I was through talking about the jinx, anything was better than having Claudia go off on a tangent.

  She nodded good-naturedly. “Right. Like I was saying, you two spend so much time together maybe you’re unknowingly projecting your fears on each other.”

  “So the only way to fix this is…?”

  “For Asher to project his confidence on you!” Claudia sighed, plopping down on the ottoman across from us so her short legs flew forward. She clapped her hands together as if to say, Job well done and you’re welcome.

  Of course she’d sing her own praises; then again it was why I loved her so much. She had the confidence I lacked.

  Asher and I exchanged glances. It was strange, but after these few weeks of trying to figure out something so out of our elements, I felt as if we were connected in the way that only two people suffering the same ordeal could be. Our actions mirrored one another, both our hands raking through our messy hair, and our breaths syncing up in quick fashion. If I had to guess, even our thoughts were identical.

  “Do you really think that getting Mallory this part will make things—me—normal?” Asher scratched at his chin and glanced over at me, shrugging. “Maybe it’s worth a shot.”

  “Why, oh why isn’t this whole thing over?” I threw my head back and groaned.

  “Do you want it to be over?” Asher shot back.

  “I…er…I…” I stammered, staring daggers at Claudia for even bringing it up.

  Just then the front door flew open once again, this time slamming into the wall with such force that I was surprised the whole apartment didn’t crumble.

  “What the…Jinny, are you okay?” Claudia immediately jumped back onto her four-inch heels and rushed over to our friend, whose face was puffy and red.

  In shock, I ran over just in time to allow Jinny to collapse in my arms. “Jinny, what’s wrong?”

  I glanced behind me and saw Asher rising slowly. His gaze was smoldering, but it didn’t seem as if he had any intention to leave.

  “Raphael and I…our engagement…broken.” Her words came out choppy, hysterical. I hugged her tight, smoothing out her hair. I was so consumed with concern that I didn’t even have those initial I told you so thoughts that I was sure I’d have once the breakup ultimately did happen.

  “Shh, calm down,” I whispered like a lullaby. “Tell us exactly what happened.”

  As I led her back toward our couch, she looked up, frowning when her eyes landed on Asher. “What’s Wonder Dick doing here?”

  I almost dropped her onto the ground.

  “Wonder Dick?” Despite the slight smile on his face, Asher luckily didn’t say more. He moved out of the way, giving Jinny room to sprawl out before she curled up into a tight ball.

  “I should go,” Asher murmured.

  “Crap. You have no way of getting home.” I glanced at my keys hanging on the little hook by the door, debating whether I trusted him enough to return my car.

  As if reading my mind, he waved me off. “I can call an Uber.”

  “No!” Jinny rolled over, letting out a loud wail. “He can stay. I need a guy’s opinion.”

  The grimace on Asher’s face alluded to how much he didn’t want to stick around, but being the good guy that he was, he agreed. “On one condition. You have to tell me what Wonder Dick means.”

  I shot him an angry look. I knew he was just trying to lighten the mood, but it was totally inappropriate.

  A giggle escaped Jinny’s lips, interrupting the monotony of her sobs. “Okay.”

  I guess it did work.

  I gently guided Jinny toward the back of the chair so I could perch onto the edge. I patted her thigh and took a deep breath, feeling guilty as those thoughts of I knew it finally flashed through my mind. Luckily, Claudia took the reins. “What happened?”

  “We were just talking, making wedding plans, and then I may have slipped that I hadn’t even told my parents we were engaged yet.”

  “What?” I gasped. “That’s so unlike you!”

  “I know! I know!” She sobbed. “I guess…I was just scared that it wasn’t going to last and I just couldn’t bring myself to disappoint my parents like that if it failed. I’m not stupid; I know you guys thought I was crazy for even getting engaged at my age.”

  “No,” I lied. Claudia snorted and rolled her eyes at me. Changing the subject, I said, “We went to celebrate your preliminary bachelorette party, remember? I thought you were all excited about the wedding.”

  “I was! I mean I am…I mean…” She sucked in a hiccupy breath. “I’m just scared. Raphael just seems so sure of everything in his life. He’s so confident, especially about me. I guess his intensity scared me.”

  “His intensity or yours?” Asher interrupted.

  For a moment we had all forgotten he was there and in unison we turned toward him in surprise.

  “What do you mean?” Jinny whispered.

  “Is it safe to say that you’d never felt this way about anyone before?”

  “Yes,” she answered in a small voice.

  “Are the feelings foreign? Overpowering? As if you no longer have control over yourself?” Though Asher was addressing Jinny, he kept his gaze fixed on me, causing that familiar flutter to build up in my lower core. He swallowed and nodded his head encouragingly. “Is the fear of this intensity making you scared of going after something you really want?”

  Jinny sniffled, calming down a bit. “I just love him so much. What if it fails? I’ll be devastated. Don’t think I haven’t studied up on the statistics of marriage failures, especially for people as young as we are.”

  Statistics. Argh. I still had stat homework to do!

  As Jinny continued to pour her heart out to us, I couldn’t help but feel an overwhelming sense of guilt. All this time I’d practically written her relationship off, thinking of it as a stupid decision young people make on a whim. Yet as I sat there watching her heartbreak in real time, I realized her feelings were genuine. She really loved Raphael.

  “Did you end things or did he?” Claudia asked as she gently patted Jinny’s freckled hand.

  “I may have walked out on him,” she answered with a wail. “But I want him back!”

  Asher nodded in understanding. “So by pushing him away first, you felt as if you could avoid failure. It’s the most common trick in the ‘relationship fear manual.’”

  Like Frankenstein’s monster, Jinny sat straight up, mouth agape. “Oh, my gosh. I totally did, didn’t I?”

  “It’s a common mistake.”

  Jinny’s puffy eyes narrowed, warning of an impending sob. I quickly caught her attention to stop it from happening. “See, now we know how to fix this problem.”

  “We do?” she asked doubtfully.

  “Uh, huh.” I nodded. “If you want him back, just talk to him and apologize. I’m sure everything will work out fine afterward.”

  Jinny shifted uneasily as if weighing my words in her mind. “How do you know it’ll be that easy?”

  She might as well have said, “How could a relationship-phobe like you possibly know?”

  I pursed my lips but before I could respond, Asher cut me off. “Relationships aren’t easy, but that’s what makes them fun! They’re a battle in themselves—a good battle.”

  “Battle? How is that fun?” she asked with a snort.

  “Because you’re on the same team and you’re together. If you really want this—if you really want him, you have to battle for it. Does that make sense?”

  She bit her lip and nodded sl
owly. “Do you think he’ll ever talk to me again?”

  “There’s only one way to find out.” Asher reached over and grabbed her cell, which had fallen to the floor when she sprawled onto the couch. Waving the ostentatiously covered phone in front of her face, he smiled warmly. “Give him a call.”

  “But what if he doesn’t answer?”

  Asher snuck a glance at me, so quick that I almost didn’t notice. “If he really cares about you, he will. That’s the thing about guys. There’s no between the lines or greyish areas with us. If we like you, we will want to be with you at any cost. I may not know you well, but I can almost guarantee that he’d be a fool if he didn’t want to spend every day with you. In fact, he’s probably sitting by his phone, waiting for you as we speak.”

  Jinny smiled thoughtfully. “Okay. Wish me luck.” She grabbed the phone from his hands and began heading toward her room. Once she was at the door, she turned at her waist and called out, “Asher?”

  “Yeah?”

  A playful look danced over Jinny’s face. “We were wondering if you were a dick or not. You aren’t.”

  Given that Jinny was on the verge of an emotional breakdown, I decided to give her a free pass though I was dying inside.

  Asher chuckled. “Well, that’s good to know.”

  Chapter 24

  Asher

  “Thanks for talking to Jinny,” Mallory told me as she drove me to Gerald’s house. “I don’t think anything Claudia or I could have said could have gotten through to her as much as you did.”

  I glanced at her delicate looking hands and glanced down at my own calloused ones. We were so opposite, but yet so similar. Was that even possible?

  I shrugged nonchalantly. “Well, I was speaking the truth, and like I said, if a guy cares about a girl, he’ll do whatever it takes to spend time with her.”

  You never spend time with me! You don’t love me as much as you love b-boying.

  I cringed, recalling Roxie’s complaints. I cleared my throat, carefully pushing the thought away. “Um, so do you think she’ll be fine?”

  “Considering the thumbs up she shot at us when we were leaving, I’m pretty sure.” She laughed. I was starting to like the way it sounded. Like ringing bells, it filled my ears, reminding me of warmth, fun, and comfort. Before I could bask in the sound of her beautiful vibrato, she quieted down, biting her lip in thought.